untitled.: Archive

4 tags

Sex Advice From Juggalos →

“I was at a Miss Juggalette Pageant one night and I saw a girl get onstage and shove a twelve-inch kielbasa up her neden hole. Juggalos can’t dance, you know? So I guess they got to do something.”

Jul 1st

6 tags

Jun 30th

1 note

6 tags

Jun 30th

3 tags

Vuvuzelas for BP →

BP is not feeling the pain they are causing in the Gulf. BP is spending millions on PR. In order to put a bit of public pressure on them, we plan to buy 100 vuvuzelas and hire 100 vuvuzela players off Craigslist to play in front of BP’s International Headquarters in London for an entire work day. Ideally, the players will keep coming back every day until they fix the gusher.

Jun 30th

1 note

2 tags

Whenever someone mentions special K I just assume they’re talking about ketamine. Oh well. Just a little ketamine to get you going in the morning, right?

Jun 30th

4 tags

Jun 30th

796 notes

1 tag

Gun shots woke me up.

8am is too early to be shooting things.

Jun 30th

3 tags

Murray: I heard a rumor about painted women and came out to investigate. One of them is dressed in leopard loungewear under her coat. She showed me. Another one says she has a snap-off crotch. What do you think she means by that? I'm a little worried, though, about all these outbreaks of life-style diseases. I carry a reinforced ribbed condom at all times. One size fits all. But I have a feeling it's not much protection against the intelligence and adaptability of the modern virus.
Jack: The women don't seem busy.
Murray: I don't think this is the kind of disaster that leads to sexual abandon. One or two fellows might come skulking out eventually but there won't be an orgiastic horde, not tonight anyway.
Jack: I guess people need time to go through certain stages.
Murray: It's obvious.

Jun 30th

3 tags

“The car window opened a crack. One of the women said to Murray, “All...”

– White Noise, Don DeLillo

Jun 30th

When we cry is it ever really about the thing that starts us off crying?

Jun 29th

4 tags